The Twitter chat topic is, nevertheless, a great one for me to
My life is going through some big shifts right now. A few months ago, I had what Carl Jung once referred to as a "big dream." I've only had about five such dreams in my lifetime. The meaning of the dream was clear. I was giving birth to a new me. This new Kelly is going to be able to state her needs like never before; she will be able to go after what she needs to be healthy and whole.
Shortly after this dream and the reverberations through my psyche, my six-plus-year relationship with my beau fell apart. It had been coasting on fumes for a while, but we had the long overdue conversation that ended it.
Two more events have recently impacted my life. I feel like a planet being pelted by one asteroid after another. The shake-up is good! First I met someone new, someone who is modelling excellent self-care and clear, no-nonsense communication. Second, I got a session with a Jungian life coach (there isn't such a thing; I made that up to describe my gifted friend) that has helped dissolved a complex that had been crippling me for decades. Since the lifting of this complex, I've found myself free from my usual anxiety, once diagnosed as Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and beginning to feel much freer of perfectionism, which has also plagued me my whole adult life.
Yeah, I know. I don't usually get this personal on a professional blog, do I? But this tangent is going somewhere, I promise.
Things are shifting in me. Everything is starting to feel healthier, but I don't think this story ends well for my blog or newsletter or cute little MOO cards that I once passed out at conferences.
Six months ago my laptop broke and I couldn't afford at that time to replace it. I discovered that there is life beyond ELT and the hours I was putting into my prep and extracurricular activities. In the beginning, I felt anxious and guilty much of the time. But after a few weeks, I discovered that my students enjoy and benefit from lessons that include more 'Back to the Well' and fewer worksheets. I thank my lucky stars that seniors are not expected to do full-blown PBLA and that my other class consists of just eight CLB 2L learners. That is to say, PBLA is not crushing me the way it is so many of us.
On a personal level, It feels now as if I'm teetering on the brink of something (potentially) very big. A different life is calling me (though not necessarily a different job). My new direction involves art, and not just illustrations for ESL booklets.
I want to give myself space to figure out what is calling to me. That sounds like a great resolution. I hereby resolve to give myself space to hear the still small voice. I also declare this blog a bi-weekly publication. I won't be surprised if it is one day a monthly publication. I'm not steering right now so much as being carried along. It feels amazing.
How about you? Did you participate in this week's #CdnELTchat on Twitter? Do you feel yourself at a crossroads of any sort? Do you have resolutions for this year, professionally or personally?